Skip to main content

Fatal Optimism

The world is so filled up with all the wise people around us telling us about the glass half-full argument. Optimism has its role to play in making otherwise hostile world around us bearable. We face a particularly obnoxious moment and believe in optimism that it will pass. Yes, it will surely pass, not disputing that. But at times, it is this very optimism which cause the most amount of inertia in life.

I got up in the morning to an early alarm, set primarily to be able to attend the early morning meeting. Having looked at the face of my most precious friend lying so angelic and peaceful. So at peace she now looks in the early morning, it is almost impossible to predict the huge amount of naughtiness that this angelic creature is going to perpetrate during the course of day, So as I rush to catch up with the news paper headlines and in between walk down two floors to get milk from across the road, little do I notice the storm that builds into my chest. As I walked up the stair, what hits me as a large hammer hitting my head right from that beautiful blue sky, is the desperate effort with which I try to keep my breathing in control, and something like a sudden flash of memory. You know, sometime, past appears not in front of you in tranquility and at peace, slowly floating across like a beautiful dream but rather a quick promo of the latest sci-fi movie. It was a similar flash of memory which cut across my thoughts suddenly today morning, the memory of the time when I was doing my masters in Indore, and Indian Coffee House at the Dental college in open premise with only a boundary wall separating from the road passing by. I remembered myself, with my youthful vigor, jumping across the wall, with a cigarette held between my fingers, as it struggled to stay burning and alive..to get a new packet of Wills Navycut.
The thing what  I remembered out of it most was the fact that there was suddenly the sun so bright, the kind that makes a very handsome shadow of your body on the Earth, the air was much lighter and breathing was so easy. My wife looked at me as she fixed some breakfast and got the tea, without saying anything. She said nothing and I thought of the pity that must of flown from that kind heart of hers. Oh my, this wreck is the person who could do fifty reps of one hand push ups at one go, the guy with breathings so heavy that it was no longer warm.
 I remembered something that the doctors call heart's ejection fraction, which is the measure of the strength of the heart. I remembered that the number he gave me on this medicals was close to the passing marks for the Board exams is not good enough to have. My maternal uncle, who is a cardiac specialist, did tell me that such passing marks call for serious consideration and I did give it it fond discount given the closeness of relation I had with him. But then looking at the google results, I could understand that my optimism of non-happening of a catastrophe is well, just that, optimism. The reality of life is that as I go through every day, working and living as if nothing is wrong, given the precarious number which hangs like Damocles sword over my head, it is sheer luck which ensures that I am every day at the doorstep to ring that bell and watch the hopping dance of my little one. It is this kind of optimism which is a killer, and it is this kind of optimism which needs to be fought against and won against. The comfort cocoon of false well being which I have built around me, because the idea is to escape the hardship which reality imposes on me, is what is to be broken. I need to break it for one reason, if not for anything else is to keep on having the possibility of those clear, naughty eyes looking at me, which I could still look back and latch on to them. No things are not fine, that is false optimism, things are pretty awful and need pretty stiff steps to be taken, that is realism. The Sun must pull all its strength and throw its light across the cloud which stands in between.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The Great Shake in Governance- New Modi Cabinet- My Take

This week, the Narendra Modi government was expanded. However, as it turned out, it was not merely an expansion, rather complete rehash of the cabinet, with many faces, widely believed as non-performers eased out of their positions.  The expansion came with the dropping of some key names, much famed and widely seen on TV Channels, perceived to me closest to the leftist media houses. Prakash Javadekar was shunted, Ravishankar Prasad was dropped, so was Ramesh Pokhariyan Nishank. Apart from the worthies of Ministries of Information & Broadcasting, Law and IT and HRD, Dr. Harshvardhan was also dropped from health.  Before we look at the addition, it is pertinent to look at the deletions from the earlier Cabinet. Prakash Javadekar, as I&B Minister was expected to take strong stand, make statements, blast the inane propaganda in key policy initiatives that the Modi Government was taking. From Land Acquisition Bill to Demonetization to GST to Triple Talaq to CAA to Farmer's Bill-

दो जोड़ी नन्ही आँखें

अनदेखे ख़्वाबों की दो जोड़ी नन्हीआँखें, जिन्होंने स्वप्न देखने की आयु से पूर्व दु:स्वप्न देख आँखें मूँद लीं। जो क़दम अभी चलना ही सीखे थे, लड़खड़ा कर थम गए। बचपन के घुटने पर लगी हर खरोंच, व्यस्कों के गाल पर एक तमाचा है। धर्म के आडंबरों से अछूता बाल मन जो मंदिरों और मस्जिदों को अपनी आत्मा में रखता था, धर्म की दरारों पर अपना नन्हा शव छोड़ निकल पड़ा। कहीं दूर,दग्ध शरीर के ताप से दूर, जब यह अकलुषित हृदय पहुँचा तो एक और निष्पाप दूधिया आत्मा दिखी, जिसकी पलकों के कोरों में उसकी आँखों के जैसे ही अविश्वास से सहमा हुआ अश्रु रूका था। एक दूसरे के गले लग कर दोनों बाल मन दरिया के टूटे बाँध की तरह बह निकले। घाव बाँटे, एक दूसरे के हृदय में चुभी धरती की किरचें निकाली और न देखे हुए स्वप्नों का श्राद्ध रचा। उसने थमती हिचकियों में अपना नाम बताया - ‘आसिफा’। और दुख के साथी की ठोड़ी थाम कर कहा - ‘मत रो, न्याय होगा।’ धरती की तरफ़ नन्ही गुलाबी उँगली दिखा कर कहा- “देख, भले लोग लड़ रहे है मेरे लिए, न्याय होगा। तेरे लिये भी लड़ रहे होंगे। तू मत रो” फिर बोली, “मैं पश्चिम से हूँ, तू पूरब से, पर हैं

Analyzing the Analysts- Failed Attempts to Understanding the Modi Magic

  " When a writer tries to explain too much, he is out of time before he begins. " wrote Isaac Bashevis Singer, 1978 Nobel Winning writer. As year wraps to an end and Bengal Elections are around the corner, Analysts are jumping over one another to analyze the way politics panned out over this Pandemic-ridden unfortunate and sad year.  When you go through most of the analysis, you find them dipping into the froth floating at the top. They often develop the hypothesis first then try to fit the data. This gap between interpretation and data leads to their conclusions mostly turning way off the mark. The most common and prevalent hypothesis that is being currently floated is that those who support Narendra Modi are some sort of fanatic army, which has no reason to support him and which are loyal to him in the most retrograde terms. For that very reason, Narendra Modi, in return, cares only about those who voted for him and no one else. While there is no proof of Narendra Modi app