Skip to main content

Perspective - The Myth of Quality time

"You never miss, what you do not know" I sit musing as I see my daughter happy as a chirpy, little bird right after the Monsoon. I am sullen and heart-broken, and I have no one else to blame for the soup that I have landed myself in. 
It was an extended weekend, the last one of the year, the next one is going to be only three months down the line, on the day of Independence. I have missed celebrating this last good weekend of the year because, to put it plainly and mildly, I goofed up. I waited till the last moment to go for the hotel booking and as it turns out, I was not the only wise man wanting to have some good time on the weekend. So, even after exposing my need for some humanly comfort to my work place, by requesting a review scheduled for Monday shifted to Tuesday on account of anticipated travel, I am sitting at home looking at a disappointed weekend. 
Then, I look at two lesson which I learn through the process. One is that while serendipity and recklessness have their charms, it always makes sense to plan ahead and try to work around what is planned, rather than waiting for the world around you to plan and then looking for the gaps to fit your own wishes into it. I had once sometime back decided that whenever I plan to travel, I will book my tickets plenty in advance, and even if I loose some amount for canceling due to some exigencies, it would still be better then the heart break and helplessness of not being able to do what was planned, simply on account of poor planning. It has always calmed the nerves. 
Second lesson which I learn is from my little child. She is as happy as she ought to be, simply because she realizes it is an off day, and she has her parents all to herself. And that is where the true beauty is. I do remember from my past childhood some events and one rare trip to Orissa (Odisha, now),  Konark temple is merely a part of it. Most of the memories are made up of cozy times and undivided attention from my parents whenever I could get it. It is the everyday affair which becomes as beautiful as a vacation, only if we can undertake them with love and togetherness. The marketing myth that is built around the term "quality time" not withstanding. Parents get under the pressure of the word and try to chase it what they can understand of it. How quality is quality when all you could think about the holidays is severe attempts to reign in the kids as they land at a hotel or resort, and hand them over a list of Dos and Don ts the moment the vacation begins. Would it not rather be more quality if you could just let them be, through whatever they want to do. With working parents, it is pretty common to feel apologetic about the less amount of time you are able to give to your kids and try to compensate it with ostentatious holidays, when you land in an awe-inspiring surroundings and render a list to kids in which things not to do is longer than the things to do. Just sit back and relax what constitutes a vacation. My most cherished one being in my ancestral home in Arrah in Bihar, and taking shower in the tubewell in the farms.
 
So the day begins with a shower with her, lazy morning, let us see what else we can pull in the course of next three days. And yes, next vacation, I am going to plan early, Ek Nazm ka vaada thaa, Milegi Tumko.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

बाल विवाह - हिंदू इतिहास और सत्य

  इतिहास का लेखन उसकी विसंगतियों की अनुक्रमिका नहीं वरन उसके समाज के आम रूप से स्वीकृत मान्यताओं एवं उस समाज के जननायकों द्वारा स्थापित मानदंडों के आधार पर होना चाहिए। परंतु जब लेखनी उन हाथों में हो जिनका मंतव्य शोध नहीं एक समाज को लज्जित करना भर हो तो समस्या गहन हो जाती है। जब प्रबुद्ध लोग कलम उठाते हैं और इस उद्देश्य के साथ उठाते हैं कि अप्रासंगिक एवं सदर्भहीन तथ्यों के माध्यम से समाज की वर्ग विभाजक रेखाओं को पुष्ट कर सकें तो हमारा कर्तव्य होता है कि हम सत्य को संदर्भ दें और अपने इतिहास के भले बुरे पक्षों को निर्विकार भाव से जाँचें।   बीते सप्ताह बाल विवाह को लेकर विदेशी सभ्यता में उठे प्रश्नों को भारत की सभ्यता पर प्रक्षेपित करके और उसकी स्वीकार्यता स्थापित करने पर बड़ी चर्चा रही। इस संदर्भ में   श्री ए एल बाशम से ले कर राजा राम मोहन रॉय तक चर्चा चली। बाशम की पुस्तक द वंडर दैट वाज इंडिया - को उद्धृत कर ले कहा गया कि हिं

कायस्थ- इतिहास एवं वर्तमान परिपेक्ष्य

सत्यम , दानम , क्षमा शीलमानृशंस्य तपो घृणा। दृश्यंते यत्र नागेंद्र स ब्राह्मण इति स्मृतः।। ( हे सर्पराज , जिसमें सत्य , दानशीलता , क्षमा , क्रूरतारहित भाव , तप एवं संवरण , एवं संवेदना हो , वह मनुष्य को ही ब्राह्मण मानना चाहिए। ) शुद्रे तु यद् भवेल्लक्षम द्विजे तच्च न विद्दयते। न वै शूद्रों भवेच्छुद्रो ब्रह्मणो न च ब्राह्मण : ।। ( यदि शूद्र में यह गुण हैं ( सत्य , दान , अक्रोध , अहिंसा , तप , संवरण एवं संवेदना ) और ब्राह्मण में यह गुण परिलक्षित ना हों तो वह शूद्र शूद्र नहीं , ब्राह्मण है ; और वह ब्राह्मण ब्राह्मण नहीं है। )  - युधिष्ठिर - नहुष संवाद , अजगर कांड , महाभारत , वन पर्व   वर्तमान परिपेक्ष्य में जिसे जाति कहा जाता है , वह वर्ण व्यवस्था का विकृत रूप है। सनातन धर्म का वर्ण जहाँ समाज को व्यवसाय एवं क्षमता के अनुरूप व्यवस्थित करने का प्रयास था और कर्म पर आधारित था , जाति उसी व्यवस्था का विघटित रूप बन कर जन्मगत व्यवस्था बन गई। जाति या कास्ट पुर्तगाल

Pathaan and Polarisation- Movie Review

Many have not seen Pathan, I have. I have a huge tolerance towards stupid movies and I love to watch all sort of movies. What has bothered me most about Pathaan is that in terms of content and characterisation, it is absolutely shoddy, much worse than much lampooned RaOne AND there is no review which openly tells you about it.  Most reviewers have reviewed the movie like a teenager, gushing over VFX generated body of ShahRukh Khan. This reminds me of my schoolmates bunking classes to watch tomato-sauce-laced movies of Ramsey brothers, gushing over semi-nude voluptuous actresses in the late 80s. Only difference being that those were school kids in class XII, with raging hormones and a stupefied intellect when a world around them was fast changing. Here we have middle-aged professional movie reviewers guiding people to their way in or out of Movie theatres. Their primary argument in favour of the movie is nothing but beefed up Shahrukh Khan and the gap between his earlier movie and this