Skip to main content

Perspective - The Myth of Quality time

"You never miss, what you do not know" I sit musing as I see my daughter happy as a chirpy, little bird right after the Monsoon. I am sullen and heart-broken, and I have no one else to blame for the soup that I have landed myself in. 
It was an extended weekend, the last one of the year, the next one is going to be only three months down the line, on the day of Independence. I have missed celebrating this last good weekend of the year because, to put it plainly and mildly, I goofed up. I waited till the last moment to go for the hotel booking and as it turns out, I was not the only wise man wanting to have some good time on the weekend. So, even after exposing my need for some humanly comfort to my work place, by requesting a review scheduled for Monday shifted to Tuesday on account of anticipated travel, I am sitting at home looking at a disappointed weekend. 
Then, I look at two lesson which I learn through the process. One is that while serendipity and recklessness have their charms, it always makes sense to plan ahead and try to work around what is planned, rather than waiting for the world around you to plan and then looking for the gaps to fit your own wishes into it. I had once sometime back decided that whenever I plan to travel, I will book my tickets plenty in advance, and even if I loose some amount for canceling due to some exigencies, it would still be better then the heart break and helplessness of not being able to do what was planned, simply on account of poor planning. It has always calmed the nerves. 
Second lesson which I learn is from my little child. She is as happy as she ought to be, simply because she realizes it is an off day, and she has her parents all to herself. And that is where the true beauty is. I do remember from my past childhood some events and one rare trip to Orissa (Odisha, now),  Konark temple is merely a part of it. Most of the memories are made up of cozy times and undivided attention from my parents whenever I could get it. It is the everyday affair which becomes as beautiful as a vacation, only if we can undertake them with love and togetherness. The marketing myth that is built around the term "quality time" not withstanding. Parents get under the pressure of the word and try to chase it what they can understand of it. How quality is quality when all you could think about the holidays is severe attempts to reign in the kids as they land at a hotel or resort, and hand them over a list of Dos and Don ts the moment the vacation begins. Would it not rather be more quality if you could just let them be, through whatever they want to do. With working parents, it is pretty common to feel apologetic about the less amount of time you are able to give to your kids and try to compensate it with ostentatious holidays, when you land in an awe-inspiring surroundings and render a list to kids in which things not to do is longer than the things to do. Just sit back and relax what constitutes a vacation. My most cherished one being in my ancestral home in Arrah in Bihar, and taking shower in the tubewell in the farms.
 
So the day begins with a shower with her, lazy morning, let us see what else we can pull in the course of next three days. And yes, next vacation, I am going to plan early, Ek Nazm ka vaada thaa, Milegi Tumko.
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Book Review- The Waves- By Virginia Woolf

Book: The Waves Author: Virginia Woolf (1882-1941) Genre: Fiction (Spiritual/ Philosophical) Style: Experimental Published: 1931 Publisher: Hogarth Press Rating: Must Read, Classic
“The Author would be glad if the following pages were not read as a Novel.” – WroteVirginia Woolf(1882-1941) on the manuscript of The Waves (Initially called The Moths). It was first published in 1931.  We are close to a century since this book was published, still this book is unparalleled and unequaled. The Independent called this Book of a Lifetime.
This is not an easy book to read. Beauty is never too easy to create, or is it ever too easy to savor to the fullest. Both production as well as the consumption of true work of art needs to be earned. This is a difficult book to read yet immensely elegant and infinitely exquisite. The story, unlike most fictional novels, does not unfold through dramatic events. It doesn’t depend on drama, it deftly steers clear of the mundane. It is sensually sublime and magnificentl…

A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man- James Joyce- Book Review

Amazon Link 
Some books are an act of education; they cannot be read in haste, cannot be understood in one read. James Joyce’s A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man gives one such feeling.
It is a coming of age story of Stephen Dedalus. Nothing extraordinary about that. But then there a rich, slowly flowing lost river of philosophy which moves beneath the surface, turning an ordinary story of a boy growing up, encountering questions about faith, religion and sex, into an exceptional, extraordinary and engaging story. The story moves along the timeline, much in the manner of Virginia Woolf’s To the Lighthouse, where the writer is seemingly a passive narrator. Further, while this book is more of a philosophical essay wrapped around a story, Ms. Woolf’s book, on the other hand, is rather a Story primarily, with a philosophical touch. This book is blatantly philosophical, dwelling into the dangerous territory of religion and how a growing mind looks at God. It begins with his school, whe…

Madam Bovary's Eyes- Flaubert's Parrot - Book Review

Some books are very hard to classify and categorize. This is one such book. Officially, it is a fiction, a novel. In terms of genre, it should be put in the same shelf as Cakes and Ale by Maugham or The Ghost Writer of Philip Roth, both I have read this year. But then, maybe not. The two are totally fictional, in terms of all the characters contained in them, even though they do have a writer as the central character. But then, that is all that has to do with writing. I don’t think we ever consider the writer’s profession as a central point of those novels. Also the characters are out and out fiction. That is where this book is different. It is about the giant of French literary history (and now, of English classical literature)- Gustave Flaubert.
            The characters and references are all real. Julian Barnes throws all his weight behind the genius who is the key protagonist in the fiction, follows the dictum of a perfect biography as mentioned by Flaubert in a letter in 1872, …