Skip to main content

On the banality of Life and Death

Days in Delhi are getting colder, not yet the unkind, and evil sort of, but slighly uncaring and lost in its own thoughts, sort of. Tossing in my bed for around thirty minutes, got up at six and headed for the neighboring deer park, developed to create the illusion of a forest in the middle of the city. I love the park better than the standard ones with manicured lawns, reminds me of the past, of the time in class VII wading through the real forest in Hasimara, a small town close to Bhutan, with Tulsa river running by the side of the Airforce colony where we lived then. It was a picture postcard township and a picture postcard life.
Coming back to today, sat thinking about how time passes by, particularly in the later phase of life as the birthdays supposed to mean something more than what they did in the earlier phases, whiz past like lonely, moffussil railway stations on the route of a superfast non-stop train. Forty passed by, and I didnt noticed, pushing back the exercise regime which the doctors have been asking for further forward, and hoping mere faith will push me through. The lackasidal attitude, and stress finally gave way to a sugar level scary enough to cause serious unease as I came back from a weekend trip to Nainital. Next few weeks saw the weight heading down around six kgs. Then the checkup, which comfirmed the worries, cut down on some serious calories, as teas went to no sugar, no milk, saw thw weight tumbling down and settling at seventy from the high of eighty four. Anoter checkup saw movement to south whcih happened last week. Report as earlier one, elicited no interest on domestic front, not to the extent of anyone wanying as much as to see it, except for my little daughter who did notice a band aid patch as she did the last time and even assured me that she will take me to the doctor ti get me healed up.
No point in talking about it to anyone, reminds me of a shaer from old college times " maang kar tumse khushi loon, mujhe manzoor nahin/ kiska maangi hui daulat se bhalaa hota hai" ( no point in begging for happiness from you, who has eve prospered with a fortune built out of begging". But then tere is no escaping the fact that the little lady who assured me of a visit to the doctor does need me, though little does she understand that the neednto visit the doc is for more than what her starry eyes can see. It is all alone in the end, it is my life and I need to do something about it, to see to it that I am around to walk my daugter down the aisle, fare her well as she grows up and steps into a life without me. Can not keep waiting, no matter how much I would want to be loved and taken care of. It is a lonely path ahead, given the amount of ice that has grown around the heart still beating with difficulty. So off I go to the park for a run. Every day counts, every moment counts, till...to borrow from Michael Bolton..I am back on, my feet again. Hope to see the doc today, get nominations done in my insurance plan for the worst case and promise myself, never to push things backwards, as the future happens soon enough. Next week is hopefully holiday in the hills, hope i can come back better. If Neitzsche can write a tome even after such severe health conditions which prevented him for making a sitting more than couple of hours, i can at least be as cruel to myself, especially on winter mornings. Only hope is that I do not end up being a vegetable interferring in lives of those around me.


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

कांग्रेस संत समागम - Congress Sant Samagam

आज रात्रि जब प्रात:काल डिम्पल बाबा जागे, उनका हृदय नई ऊर्जा से प्रकाशमान था। कल ही काँग्रेस कार्यकारिणी ने उनकी तुलना किसी अचार से की थी और ध्वनिमत से सनातन धर्म का रक्षक बताया था। डिम्पल बाबा के बताया गया था कि अचार बनने के बाद हिंदू धर्म ध्वजा की रक्षा का दायित्व उन पर बैठता है। बाबा को खुद को पिकल कहा जाना पसंद तो नहीं आया था और वह जानना चाहते को अति उत्सुक थे कि ये हिंदू पिकल का इतना सम्मान क्यों करते हैं। हालाँकि डिम्पल बाबा के उत्साह का सबसे बड़ा कारण यह था कि ब्रह्मऋषि डिम्पल घोषित होने का बाद वह सामाजिक मर्यादाओं से इतर हो गए थे, और बक़ौल बाल ऋषि पूनावाला उन्हें भाँग गाँजा की निर्बाध व्यवस्था का अधिकार था। बालऋषि के अनुसार- राहुल जी इज जस्ट लाईक दैट डूड फ्राम माऊँटेन- शिव। सोच कर ही महर्षि डिम्पल के शरीर मे फुरेरियाँ उठी। नानी ने जब पवित्र वेटिकन के जल से ब्लेसित किया था तब उन्हें कहाँ भान होगा कि एक दिन उनका पौत्र हिंदू धर्म की दिशा तय करेगा। 
बहरहाल नव-नियुक्त ब्रह्मऋषि डिम्पल बाबा ने, घड़ी को देखा। बारह बज गए थे और प्रात: सूर्य वंदना का समय था। रोलेक्स राजर्षि को भी अब पहुँच…

लँगड का एमाराई

(Hindi Satire, inspired by immortal writing of late  Shri Shrilal Shukl and his legendary Novel- Rag Darbari)


लंगडवा एम आर आई करवाने का सोच रहा था। फिर सोचा पता नहीं मशीन कहाँ कहाँ से जुड़ी होगी।

खन्ना मास्टर लंगडवा के उहापोह को बड़े ध्यान से देख रहे थे। ग़रीब का कष्ट अमीर को सदा ही ध्यानाकर्षक लगता है। उसी में उसकी आत्मा का उद्धार और राजनीति का चमत्कार छुपा होता है। खन्ना मास्टर जवान और जोशीले थे। चमकीली वास्केट पहनते थे, और गंजहा की जगह ख़ुद को गंजावाला कहलाना पसंद करते थे।

गंजावाला अपना चश्मा लहराते बालों में धकेल कर, मनुहार के लहजे में बोले - “जाओ हो, काहे घबराते हो? कब तक वैद जी के पीछे घूमते रहेगे? क़स्बा क्लीनिक जा कर एमाराई करा लो।”

“हमको थोड़ा डर लग रहा है।”

लंगडवा गंजावाला के उत्साह से भयभीत हो गया। अमीर आदमी ग़रीब के सुख में अचानक रुचि लेने लगे तो अक्सर ग़रीब के लिए भय और भ्रम का कारण होता है। एक राजकुमार पहले उत्साहित हुए थे तो जवाँ मर्द कंबल और ट्राजिस्टर प्राप्त कर के लौटे थे। उसके बाद उनके घर कभी किलकारियाँ नही सुनाई पड़ी , बस मुफ़्त के रेडियो में बिनाका गीत माला सुनाई पड़ती…

Women in Vedas - The Fake Story of Sati Pratha

Biggest problem which Hinduism faces when it is being evaluated through the western prism of Abrahamic faith . I was watching a speech by Sadhguru where he mentioned a very critical defining feature of Hinduism. He says, unlike Western faiths, Hinduism did not place anyone at a pedestal where questions would not reach. Forget the Prophets and Masters, even Gods were received with affection and a list of questions. Nothing was ever beyond debate in Hinduism, not even Gods. This very nature of Hinduism has often been cause of concern and confusion for Western thinkers, troubled by a religion, which is seeped so deep into our culture of exploration of truth through investigation and examination. When the western scholars approach the Vedic Indian wisdom, oftentimes their approach itself is based on the assumption that they are approaching a civilization, a religion which is inferior to theirs. This makes it hard for them to accept a society which was an intellectually flourishing society…