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Ghosts of My Past

The past has a bad habit of catching up with the present, more so, if its feet are stuck in the squalid grounds of failure. The burden of it bears heavy on the soul, which with loosing breath tries to soar to the sky of a future, in which liberation shines.

Errors of past hangs around your neck like a noose, and you can't even find solace in justificationd and explanations, because they are not your doing. How can you justify your past, when all that needs justification is not your doing, but you somehow carry the forced sense of guilt, because you allowed the space to other people's wrong doings in your past. Even your position in the past against those acts, do not exonerate you. 

To carry your own mistakes is not easy, and everyone's past is well sprinkled with them, carriying those of others is even more torturous. When future does not promise to bring in a sense of resolution, life becomes an endless struggle, with death as only refuge.


when your present seems to be so much steeped in error, only wise course would be strike it right then with the vengeance of a merciless killer, so it does not tomorrow turns into a remorseless, undying past, tomorrow, thereby clouding the brightest of the days. The other option can only be to totally change your vantage point, disown what is happening around you, you will be a lesser man that day, but a happier one later.

Maybe, just maybe, right now just looking at the rising Sun and sleeping child beside me, hoping some light may pierce through the haunting dark clouds of the past. Will some friend tap on the bruised palms, look me in eyes and speak in whispers, "not your fault, you could not have done better, that other people's fault find space in your past, doesn't make you culpable." Will soneone say thus, and offer me a lap to sleep in.

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