Sunday, November 17, 2013

Is Detachment and Selfless Love a Defeatist Idea

If someone makes a cursory glance through the posts on Social media, detachment is one of the most common theme which runs across. It highlights two things, one is that the sense of loss and the grief arising out of unrequited love troubles a huge number of people, and a huge number of people among them find solace in getting rid of all expectations.
 
I find this defeatist. It defies logic and runs contrary to the sense of justice. Don't get me wrong, It isn't that I am immune to the pain and sorrow attached with unrequited love. I am in fact, prince of pessimism. It is painful and saddening to not receive what you are entitled to on the grounds of justice and love. I writhe in pain when I am let down. But I am also a pampered child of love who believes the right return for the investment made in a relation. I refuse to accept anything lesser. I refuse to betray myself.

I know man is a logical animal, who knows that two plus two equals four. I can not have it otherwise merely because I am not getting it. In Life and in love, don't set the bar low, whether or not you are able to overcome. And whether or not overcoming it seems impossible. This is one life we have and we must not waste it with half-measures. We must give all that we have to it and seek all in return. It might break our hearts now and then to not receive what we know is rightfully ours, but that notwithstanding, a human heart has a right to expect. It is escapist to erase this basic human feeling and utter denial. There is no glory to do good for others without expecting anything in return. Return, we must get, ask any child attending a birthday party.

We live in an unjust world, that doesn't mean we give up on justice. We live in an unfair world, that doesn't mean we give up on the sense of fairness. Don't give up seeking, don't give up asking, don't give up expecting. That is all a part of being human, the pain which is associated with not getting your rightful part is also a part of being human. Bruised, battered, defeated, still seek your space in the Sun. There is nothing divine in self-less love. It is a defeatist idea for people choosing to live in denial, for the fear of hurt. Further, it extends forgiveness to those who neither sought it, nor deserve it. We must also learn, this isn't personal. In love and in life, person is inconsequential, me and you both. It is the idea which we call life, we call love, we call friendship. It floats, it changes and it passes us by. Was it not said,"Seek and it shall be given to ye" - It might be incorrect but seek nevertheless. Do not set yourself up to be short-changed. Divine wrath will not bring shame to those who short-change you, there is no justice in after-life. This is one life we have, to love, to cherish. There is no shame in losing in love, there is a shame in pretending you didn't lose, because you never sought love. Losses in love are sign of an unyielding hope and unyielding soul. Be open about losses you take in the process and wear them proudly on your proud chest as medals.

Love is one war for which we exist, and we might not always win, but to have well-fought is a good enough justification of life. I can keep on loving you even when you don't love me back with the same intensity, but I will not pretend that I do not want it. I will take my losses and bathe in my own blood, but I will not pretend, I will not be ashamed of loving you so much and wanting the same love from you. Let it be a difficult love, but then is there any other kind?

2 comments:

squid mc finnigan said...

Hi Very good post and true

saket suryesh said...

Many thanks, Squid..forgive the delay in revert but am truly grateful..