Skip to main content

Is Detachment and Selfless Love a Defeatist Idea

If someone makes a cursory glance through the posts on Social media, detachment is one of the most common theme which runs across. It highlights two things, one is that the sense of loss and the grief arising out of unrequited love troubles a huge number of people, and a huge number of people among them find solace in getting rid of all expectations.
 
I find this defeatist. It defies logic and runs contrary to the sense of justice. Don't get me wrong, It isn't that I am immune to the pain and sorrow attached with unrequited love. I am in fact, prince of pessimism. It is painful and saddening to not receive what you are entitled to on the grounds of justice and love. I writhe in pain when I am let down. But I am also a pampered child of love who believes the right return for the investment made in a relation. I refuse to accept anything lesser. I refuse to betray myself.

I know man is a logical animal, who knows that two plus two equals four. I can not have it otherwise merely because I am not getting it. In Life and in love, don't set the bar low, whether or not you are able to overcome. And whether or not overcoming it seems impossible. This is one life we have and we must not waste it with half-measures. We must give all that we have to it and seek all in return. It might break our hearts now and then to not receive what we know is rightfully ours, but that notwithstanding, a human heart has a right to expect. It is escapist to erase this basic human feeling and utter denial. There is no glory to do good for others without expecting anything in return. Return, we must get, ask any child attending a birthday party.

We live in an unjust world, that doesn't mean we give up on justice. We live in an unfair world, that doesn't mean we give up on the sense of fairness. Don't give up seeking, don't give up asking, don't give up expecting. That is all a part of being human, the pain which is associated with not getting your rightful part is also a part of being human. Bruised, battered, defeated, still seek your space in the Sun. There is nothing divine in self-less love. It is a defeatist idea for people choosing to live in denial, for the fear of hurt. Further, it extends forgiveness to those who neither sought it, nor deserve it. We must also learn, this isn't personal. In love and in life, person is inconsequential, me and you both. It is the idea which we call life, we call love, we call friendship. It floats, it changes and it passes us by. Was it not said,"Seek and it shall be given to ye" - It might be incorrect but seek nevertheless. Do not set yourself up to be short-changed. Divine wrath will not bring shame to those who short-change you, there is no justice in after-life. This is one life we have, to love, to cherish. There is no shame in losing in love, there is a shame in pretending you didn't lose, because you never sought love. Losses in love are sign of an unyielding hope and unyielding soul. Be open about losses you take in the process and wear them proudly on your proud chest as medals.

Love is one war for which we exist, and we might not always win, but to have well-fought is a good enough justification of life. I can keep on loving you even when you don't love me back with the same intensity, but I will not pretend that I do not want it. I will take my losses and bathe in my own blood, but I will not pretend, I will not be ashamed of loving you so much and wanting the same love from you. Let it be a difficult love, but then is there any other kind?

Comments

Hi Very good post and true
Saket Suryesh said…
Many thanks, Squid..forgive the delay in revert but am truly grateful..

Popular posts from this blog

दो जोड़ी नन्ही आँखें

अनदेखे ख़्वाबों की दो जोड़ी नन्हीआँखें, जिन्होंने स्वप्न देखने की आयु से पूर्व दु:स्वप्न देख आँखें मूँद लीं। जो क़दम अभी चलना ही सीखे थे, लड़खड़ा कर थम गए। बचपन के घुटने पर लगी हर खरोंच, व्यस्कों के गाल पर एक तमाचा है। धर्म के आडंबरों से अछूता बाल मन जो मंदिरों और मस्जिदों को अपनी आत्मा में रखता था, धर्म की दरारों पर अपना नन्हा शव छोड़ निकल पड़ा। कहीं दूर,दग्ध शरीर के ताप से दूर, जब यह अकलुषित हृदय पहुँचा तो एक और निष्पाप दूधिया आत्मा दिखी, जिसकी पलकों के कोरों में उसकी आँखों के जैसे ही अविश्वास से सहमा हुआ अश्रु रूका था। एक दूसरे के गले लग कर दोनों बाल मन दरिया के टूटे बाँध की तरह बह निकले। घाव बाँटे, एक दूसरे के हृदय में चुभी धरती की किरचें निकाली और न देखे हुए स्वप्नों का श्राद्ध रचा। उसने थमती हिचकियों में अपना नाम बताया - ‘आसिफा’। और दुख के साथी की ठोड़ी थाम कर कहा - ‘मत रो, न्याय होगा।’ धरती की तरफ़ नन्ही गुलाबी उँगली दिखा कर कहा- “देख, भले लोग लड़ रहे है मेरे लिए, न्याय होगा। तेरे लिये भी लड़ रहे होंगे। तू मत रो” फिर बोली, “मैं पश्चिम से हूँ, तू पूरब से, पर हैं

Analyzing the Analysts- Failed Attempts to Understanding the Modi Magic

  " When a writer tries to explain too much, he is out of time before he begins. " wrote Isaac Bashevis Singer, 1978 Nobel Winning writer. As year wraps to an end and Bengal Elections are around the corner, Analysts are jumping over one another to analyze the way politics panned out over this Pandemic-ridden unfortunate and sad year.  When you go through most of the analysis, you find them dipping into the froth floating at the top. They often develop the hypothesis first then try to fit the data. This gap between interpretation and data leads to their conclusions mostly turning way off the mark. The most common and prevalent hypothesis that is being currently floated is that those who support Narendra Modi are some sort of fanatic army, which has no reason to support him and which are loyal to him in the most retrograde terms. For that very reason, Narendra Modi, in return, cares only about those who voted for him and no one else. While there is no proof of Narendra Modi app

That Evil Ignorance- Rahul Gandhi and his Everyday Questions

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.” - Theodore Roosevelt, American President 1901-1909 Rahul Gandhi  has again asked as question as to why the Soldiers martyred in the cowardly attack of the Chinese in the Galwan Valley did not carry weapons (ignoring that the treaty si