Skip to main content

Is Detachment and Selfless Love a Defeatist Idea

If someone makes a cursory glance through the posts on Social media, detachment is one of the most common theme which runs across. It highlights two things, one is that the sense of loss and the grief arising out of unrequited love troubles a huge number of people, and a huge number of people among them find solace in getting rid of all expectations.
 
I find this defeatist. It defies logic and runs contrary to the sense of justice. Don't get me wrong, It isn't that I am immune to the pain and sorrow attached with unrequited love. I am in fact, prince of pessimism. It is painful and saddening to not receive what you are entitled to on the grounds of justice and love. I writhe in pain when I am let down. But I am also a pampered child of love who believes the right return for the investment made in a relation. I refuse to accept anything lesser. I refuse to betray myself.

I know man is a logical animal, who knows that two plus two equals four. I can not have it otherwise merely because I am not getting it. In Life and in love, don't set the bar low, whether or not you are able to overcome. And whether or not overcoming it seems impossible. This is one life we have and we must not waste it with half-measures. We must give all that we have to it and seek all in return. It might break our hearts now and then to not receive what we know is rightfully ours, but that notwithstanding, a human heart has a right to expect. It is escapist to erase this basic human feeling and utter denial. There is no glory to do good for others without expecting anything in return. Return, we must get, ask any child attending a birthday party.

We live in an unjust world, that doesn't mean we give up on justice. We live in an unfair world, that doesn't mean we give up on the sense of fairness. Don't give up seeking, don't give up asking, don't give up expecting. That is all a part of being human, the pain which is associated with not getting your rightful part is also a part of being human. Bruised, battered, defeated, still seek your space in the Sun. There is nothing divine in self-less love. It is a defeatist idea for people choosing to live in denial, for the fear of hurt. Further, it extends forgiveness to those who neither sought it, nor deserve it. We must also learn, this isn't personal. In love and in life, person is inconsequential, me and you both. It is the idea which we call life, we call love, we call friendship. It floats, it changes and it passes us by. Was it not said,"Seek and it shall be given to ye" - It might be incorrect but seek nevertheless. Do not set yourself up to be short-changed. Divine wrath will not bring shame to those who short-change you, there is no justice in after-life. This is one life we have, to love, to cherish. There is no shame in losing in love, there is a shame in pretending you didn't lose, because you never sought love. Losses in love are sign of an unyielding hope and unyielding soul. Be open about losses you take in the process and wear them proudly on your proud chest as medals.

Love is one war for which we exist, and we might not always win, but to have well-fought is a good enough justification of life. I can keep on loving you even when you don't love me back with the same intensity, but I will not pretend that I do not want it. I will take my losses and bathe in my own blood, but I will not pretend, I will not be ashamed of loving you so much and wanting the same love from you. Let it be a difficult love, but then is there any other kind?

Comments

Hi Very good post and true
Saket Suryesh said…
Many thanks, Squid..forgive the delay in revert but am truly grateful..

Popular posts from this blog

बाल विवाह - हिंदू इतिहास और सत्य

  इतिहास का लेखन उसकी विसंगतियों की अनुक्रमिका नहीं वरन उसके समाज के आम रूप से स्वीकृत मान्यताओं एवं उस समाज के जननायकों द्वारा स्थापित मानदंडों के आधार पर होना चाहिए। परंतु जब लेखनी उन हाथों में हो जिनका मंतव्य शोध नहीं एक समाज को लज्जित करना भर हो तो समस्या गहन हो जाती है। जब प्रबुद्ध लोग कलम उठाते हैं और इस उद्देश्य के साथ उठाते हैं कि अप्रासंगिक एवं सदर्भहीन तथ्यों के माध्यम से समाज की वर्ग विभाजक रेखाओं को पुष्ट कर सकें तो हमारा कर्तव्य होता है कि हम सत्य को संदर्भ दें और अपने इतिहास के भले बुरे पक्षों को निर्विकार भाव से जाँचें।   बीते सप्ताह बाल विवाह को लेकर विदेशी सभ्यता में उठे प्रश्नों को भारत की सभ्यता पर प्रक्षेपित करके और उसकी स्वीकार्यता स्थापित करने पर बड़ी चर्चा रही। इस संदर्भ में   श्री ए एल बाशम से ले कर राजा राम मोहन रॉय तक चर्चा चली। बाशम की पुस्तक द वंडर दैट वाज इंडिया - को उद्धृत कर ले कहा गया कि हिं

कायस्थ- इतिहास एवं वर्तमान परिपेक्ष्य

सत्यम , दानम , क्षमा शीलमानृशंस्य तपो घृणा। दृश्यंते यत्र नागेंद्र स ब्राह्मण इति स्मृतः।। ( हे सर्पराज , जिसमें सत्य , दानशीलता , क्षमा , क्रूरतारहित भाव , तप एवं संवरण , एवं संवेदना हो , वह मनुष्य को ही ब्राह्मण मानना चाहिए। ) शुद्रे तु यद् भवेल्लक्षम द्विजे तच्च न विद्दयते। न वै शूद्रों भवेच्छुद्रो ब्रह्मणो न च ब्राह्मण : ।। ( यदि शूद्र में यह गुण हैं ( सत्य , दान , अक्रोध , अहिंसा , तप , संवरण एवं संवेदना ) और ब्राह्मण में यह गुण परिलक्षित ना हों तो वह शूद्र शूद्र नहीं , ब्राह्मण है ; और वह ब्राह्मण ब्राह्मण नहीं है। )  - युधिष्ठिर - नहुष संवाद , अजगर कांड , महाभारत , वन पर्व   वर्तमान परिपेक्ष्य में जिसे जाति कहा जाता है , वह वर्ण व्यवस्था का विकृत रूप है। सनातन धर्म का वर्ण जहाँ समाज को व्यवसाय एवं क्षमता के अनुरूप व्यवस्थित करने का प्रयास था और कर्म पर आधारित था , जाति उसी व्यवस्था का विघटित रूप बन कर जन्मगत व्यवस्था बन गई। जाति या कास्ट पुर्तगाल

Pathaan and Polarisation- Movie Review

Many have not seen Pathan, I have. I have a huge tolerance towards stupid movies and I love to watch all sort of movies. What has bothered me most about Pathaan is that in terms of content and characterisation, it is absolutely shoddy, much worse than much lampooned RaOne AND there is no review which openly tells you about it.  Most reviewers have reviewed the movie like a teenager, gushing over VFX generated body of ShahRukh Khan. This reminds me of my schoolmates bunking classes to watch tomato-sauce-laced movies of Ramsey brothers, gushing over semi-nude voluptuous actresses in the late 80s. Only difference being that those were school kids in class XII, with raging hormones and a stupefied intellect when a world around them was fast changing. Here we have middle-aged professional movie reviewers guiding people to their way in or out of Movie theatres. Their primary argument in favour of the movie is nothing but beefed up Shahrukh Khan and the gap between his earlier movie and this