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I am an only child,
though not a child anymore. My childhood went in search of friendships outside
the home, and waiting for the evening to come by to immerse into those rare
moments of camaraderie. Our days, the Pre-Appu childhood, was largely
supervised by our parents. I do not much remember visiting my friend’s place in
childhood. Much unlike my daughter and her friends who keep meeting up in their
homes. My friends were kids of my father’s colleagues and we met when they met.
Friendships were formed and finished in the children park.
The interspersed
period of loneliness was filled up by books. It was from Comics to pocket-books
to Geeta Press to even, Indian Classics like Ramayana and Mahabharata. They
filled up my days of solitude with rare happiness. I was called introvert and
adults left me alone. It was an arrangement which we both liked. There was no
other arrangement in the view. For some reasons, parents those days did not
appreciate reading outside the school syllabus. Pocket-books, detective Hindi
novels, were almost like banned books, and reading them something dreadful like
drug addiction today. I still wonder why but it did give a sense of adventure
as I indulged in Ram-Rahim and Vijay-Vikas on the sly. I do believe it did provide me with a love of language, a flair for style as I would look for the Bernard Shaw’s Arms and The Man and Neruda's Tonight I Can Write Saddest Lines in the class twelfth as a literary friend and not
a boring, tiring academic foe.
Reading does many
things to you, more so, if it finds you early in the life. I do wish at times
that if reading weren’t a prohibitive thing in my childhood, likely to impact
your school results and your adult obedience, I might have gained much. I might
have turned out a much better person with an abundant supply of Shakespeare, Joseph Conrad and Pablo
Neruda in early life. Even Roald
Dahl and Dr. Suess was something
I discovered after becoming a father. Embarrassing but true. I am trying to
make up for that gap with my now about to be eight year old daughter. She again
is an only child. I can see from her desperation to go meet her classmates and
the friend downstairs, that she is plagued with the same blankness, unending
emptiness as I was. She needs friends.
She needs to know
that there are only two friends she really needs- Books and herself. These are
the two friends which will help her make many. The relationships forged by a
reading man are deeper and more meaningful. Balzac wrote, “Reading brings us unknown friends.”
The great American Academic, Charles
William Eliot wrote “Books are the quietest and most constant of friends; they are
the most accessible and wisest of counselors, and the most patient of teachers.”
Books teach us
life. It gives us tools to examine, evaluate and resurrect, rebuild our own
lives. Long time back Socrates wrote
that an unexamined life is not worth living. Books give us eyes to examine
life. Every time we do that, we come out a better person. Reading keeps us
honest when we evaluate our own lives and gives us knowledge to amend
ourselves. It takes special sophistication of soul to be brutal with oneself in
such introspection. Unless it is brutal and honest, it is pretense. You end up
feeling ugly, feeling helpless and blaming the world, in which case, it is not
search for truth; it is search for excuses. When you have a maturity of mind,
you turn inward; irrespective and isolated of the world you examine yourself.
As they say in scientific postulation, X is given, and X is the world about you,
in which case what you would do to make yourself better person is the only
variable open to you. Books and reading bring that honesty, that ability to
better yourself, to you. It opens a wide panorama, where you look at the world
from eternity to eternity spread in front of you, and your own life in the
broad scheme of things. Books help us understand conflicting perspectives and
what drives them. Thus it helps us accommodate and adapt. “Reading is the sole means by
which we slip, involuntarily, often helplessly, into another's skin, another's
voice, another's soul.” Wrote Joyce Carole Oates.
It calms your
nerves. It makes one understand one’s place in the larger scheme of things. It
doesn’t make your pain vanish. If anything, it makes pain pronounced. But at
the same time, it makes one adept at handling pain. When you read, you
understand that the world had been inhabited by finer women and men, who had at
one point of time been worse than you. It helps one trace the whole trajectory
of life and lessens the hits that life lands on us. Books helped Liesel
Meminger and even the Jewish fugitive Max survive the childhood through world
war in The Book Thief. Reading gives
you tools to interpret the world. Abuses are result of failure of words. We
cannot understand what we cannot put into words. It overwhelms us. Words adapts
us to not be overwhelmed, calms our nerves. With words, courage is
well-meaning, anger is well-intentioned, sadness is well-curated and life is
well-lived. Well-read people are rarely abusive. They are able to handle well
what life throws at them. Maugham wrote “To acquire the habit of reading is to construct for yourself a
refuge from almost all the miseries of life.”
So, I, with these
ideas, to equip my kiddo with wherewithal to manage the solitude and to manage
the life, have begun my work. I do not know what direction her life will
eventually take, what choices she will make in her life, reading, I am sure
will prepare her for her life-choices, even if they be non-literary. she is now
introduced to Roald Dahl and Dr. Seuss,
and even occasional Poe (She has
come to love “Quoth the Raven, Nevermore”). My cruel conspiracies began with
surrounding her with books and telling her stories, selective reading. Since it
cannot be outsourced, it also gives us little private time together. She would
worry with me while reading The Book
Thief and laugh with me while reading The
Cat In the Hat, and she would look at me awestruck when Matilda of Robert Dahl would speak
names like Hemingway and Dickens. I had no clue when we picked
Matilda, but in a subtle way, through the lives of Wormwoods it also will help
us understand the fault-lines of modern lives, lived in living rooms in front
of television. I remember, googling Robert Dahl and showing his face and his
house on google to her. She understood him as real person and was charmed that
real people can write such lovely stories. Her interest was kindled. I put her
into library, having found BC Roy Children’s Library, next to the ITO, much
helped by the metro station, bang at the doorstep. I was shocked to hear the
fee- four hundred rupees an year. That translates to one year supply of wisdom
at the price of a movie ticket (two hours) in a multiplex. It is a pity that
such treasures are unknown and ignored by people. And the bigger treasure, for
a father, travelling in the Metro, biggest Father-daughter time than any
weekend resort trip, as many things the non-stop chatterbox tells you while
traveling in public conveyance.
It is hard to
imagine what couple of hours of company of books can do to a child. It prepares
him or her for the society. When the
supply is unlimited and the shame of being a serious reader is gone (yes, I
mean it, in today’s world where even well-educated people are seldom well-read
and even boast about not having read a complete book in the life time), it
opens one to multiple view, different thoughts, often conflicting ones. It is
hard for a well-read person to be a bigot, almost impossible. Don’t get me
wrong. When one reads as a vocation unto itself, not as a considered effort to
create an arsenal to defend an ideology, one reads without discrimination. When
one reads far and wide, Dogmas get destroyed, orthodoxy is obliterate, and
fanaticism fades away. Virginia Woolf tells us how one ought to read, when she
writes, “Most commonly we come to books with blurred and divided minds, asking
of fiction that it shall be true, of poetry that it shall be false, of
biography that it shall be flattering, of history that it shall enforce our own
prejudices. If we could banish all such preconceptions when we read, that would
be an admirable beginning. Do not dictate to your author; try to become him. Be
his fellow-worker and accomplice. If you hang back, and reserve and criticize
at first, you are preventing yourself from getting the fullest possible value
from what you read. But if you open your mind as widely as possible, then signs
and hints of almost imperceptible fineness, from the twist and turn of the
first sentences, will bring you into the presence of a human being unlike any
other. Steep yourself in this, acquaint yourself with this and soon you will
find that your author is giving you, or attempting to give you, something far
more definite.”
I do hope, my
daughter, will read a lot more than I could in my own life time. My own reading
as I explained, was sketchy in the beginning. Still I did try to compensate as
I grew old and my teenage rebelliousness was mostly limited to not following
religious dogma and wanting to read, in the face of adult advice that it will
hurt my schooling. It still confounds me why my parents would see my reading in
contradiction to my reading and sadly, it still remains same for most parents.
I would still out my neck and say it is incorrect presumption. They go
together. It is like running and exercising supports football. Unstructured
reading prepares one for structured curriculum like nothing else. I can now vouch for my theory as I can see
that in my daughter’s school, since she started reading. Another mistake not to
make is to never underestimate the intellect of a child. It is the most pure,
most expansive phase of human mind. Their intellect has the capacity to rise
and grow and expand to what is presented to them. They are blessed souls of
tomorrow, let us keep them blessed and in process, learn to be stay blessed
from them, rather than trying to these little people, happily running around in
the world, amid all the miseries we adults create. Let them be great readers,
for nothing goes farther in creating a better world than a reading populace. It
is a blessing in itself, apart from the life benefits, I have tried listing.
Let the libraries be opened to people and truth will unwind and unwraps itself
to readers. I would end this with the most hopeful and truthful quote I found
on reading, again from Virginia Woolf. She writes, “I
have sometimes dreamt, at least, that when the Day of Judgment
dawns and the great conquerors and lawyers and statesmen come to receive their
rewards — their crowns, their laurels, their names carved indelibly upon
imperishable marble — the Almighty will turn to Peter and will say, not without
a certain envy when He sees us coming with our books under our arms, ‘Look,
those need no reward. We have nothing to give them here. They have loved
reading.’
Comments
It is true that books are very good source of knowledge for children. They help them develop or improve the command over language, mastery of communication, more logical thinking skills and concentration.
However you will also agree that only keeping to books might make children introvert and can be seen as theory oriented knowledgeable person.
I would like to add other dimensions n sources of gaining knowledge as a continuation of your blog.
In addition to books there are other sources of knowledge like interacting with people n socializing.The opportunity for social interactions with others is very important for the development of all children. Through social interactions, children begin to establish a sense of “self” and to learn what others expect of them. When playing with others, children learn appropriate social behaviors, such as sharing, cooperating, and respecting others. In addition, while interacting with their peers, young children learn communication, cognitive, and motor skills. Children who learn appropriate social skills often have a higher self-esteem and show a greater willingness to interact confidently with their environment as they grow.
Another source of knowledge which I believe is equally important is traveling when young as it can be a great platform to diversify your experience early in life and to discover what your purpose in life is. Each country, each city, even each restaurant you might visit is an opportunity to experiment something different. It’s always good to compliment your “school smart” with some “street smart”, and there’s no better way to do this than traveling. Traveling teaches you a wide variety of things that can be applied to your daily life –from the most banal to the most indispensable. When you travel you get exposed to different cultures that can have a direct impact in your life. Your tolerance will grow as you experiment them, and in many cases, you’ll learn how to see things from a different perspective. You’ll learn to develop your independence and how to be responsible. Traveling changes the way you relate to the world. Traveling empowers you to take on new challenges. Traveling makes history come alive. The stories are no longer pictures in a book, but tangible memories you remember much longer than anything you could study in school.
It is true that books are very good source of knowledge for children. They help them develop or improve the command over language, mastery of communication, more logical thinking skills and concentration.
However you will also agree that only keeping to books might make children introvert and can be seen as theory oriented knowledgeable person.
I would like to add other dimensions n sources of gaining knowledge as a continuation of your blog.
In addition to books there are other sources of knowledge like interacting with people n socializing.The opportunity for social interactions with others is very important for the development of all children. Through social interactions, children begin to establish a sense of “self” and to learn what others expect of them. When playing with others, children learn appropriate social behaviors, such as sharing, cooperating, and respecting others. In addition, while interacting with their peers, young children learn communication, cognitive, and motor skills. Children who learn appropriate social skills often have a higher self-esteem and show a greater willingness to interact confidently with their environment as they grow.
Another source of knowledge which I believe is equally important is traveling when young as it can be a great platform to diversify your experience early in life and to discover what your purpose in life is. Each country, each city, even each restaurant you might visit is an opportunity to experiment something different. It’s always good to compliment your “school smart” with some “street smart”, and there’s no better way to do this than traveling. Traveling teaches you a wide variety of things that can be applied to your daily life –from the most banal to the most indispensable. When you travel you get exposed to different cultures that can have a direct impact in your life. Your tolerance will grow as you experiment them, and in many cases, you’ll learn how to see things from a different perspective. You’ll learn to develop your independence and how to be responsible. Traveling changes the way you relate to the world. Traveling empowers you to take on new challenges. Traveling makes history come alive. The stories are no longer pictures in a book, but tangible memories you remember much longer than anything you could study in school.